No lie, my kid has a Jaxson and three different spellings of Kayliee in his four year old class right now.

So I was not at the event where this occurred, but I did drive around the building when it let out because I wanted to see if I recognized anyone that I could later mock mercilessly. I was SHOCKED to see a number of Latino folks in Trump shirts holding Trump signs milling around. I was not shocked to see all the…

Tell this to my asshole coworker. Acts like he's such a mayrter for working huge numbers of hours and working from home, etc, commenting how I'm always out of here on time. I'm like "Dick, I get my work done during my hours allotted, why can't you?"

I got a Soda Stream in June and went nuts with shrubs. Like, seriously, my friends were tired of me talking about them constantly.

I have a huge bush. HUGE. And my skin does not like hair removal, so maybe every few months when I’ve gotten particularly squatchy I take a beard trimmer and go to town on my pits, bush, and if I’m really feeling it legs. More often than not I’ll try to trim the lips and anything outside the swimsuit area down to the…

Now it’s all I can seeeeeeeee!

I get my brows waxed now and then. I pluck in between waxes until it gets too crazy and I can’t keep up. I don’t really remove any other body hair on a regular basis, and I’m a swarthy hairy lady, but having groomed brows makes me look put together with much less effort.

Is that all? Well, I’d already signed up to give PP and Bernie $10 a month ongoing, so I guess I win double.

Question: Does anyone know how many times Planned Parenthood was mentioned last night? I was hoping to donate that many dollars to Planned Parenthood, and maybe also Bernie Sanders, but I could not bring myself to watch the damn thing.

Ok, there are way to many responses to address them individually, so here’s a digest:

ALSO, can I be un-greyed some time? Seriously?

Oh yeah, toates a woman. When I mentioned that when I was younger I actually desired sex and got aroused I was told that I had been dysfunctionaly over sexual and my current no-sex-drive situation was normal. And that when I got into my 30s I would get horny again. (I’m 34 now, no dice.)

Ok, but every time I tell the doc I have no sex drive any more they’re like “Oh. So, any other concerns?” They do not give a fuck.

So, pear and gorgonzola is actually amazing. Maybe not with a red sauce, but I’m not partial to a red sauce, maybe an olive oil and garlic? Yum.

She voted to repeal the Affordable Care Act. So there’s that.

My letter to Joni Ernst:

We have a multi-stall ladies and a multi-stall gents at work. Luckily we also have one solitary single seater (which used to be for drug testing. We’re a medical lab). I shit up that single seater daily at about 10:00 am. The best day ever was the day I just destroyed that place, the air was almost an opaque green,…

I like to calculate exactly how much money I earned while pooping. It helps.

I told my husband about this article and asked what was our dumbest kitchen item. Then, buzzed on wine, we charged into the kitchen to find out. The silicone egg poaching cup and single garlic clove mandolin were both super dumb, but since they were gifts from his mother and not things we paid actual money for, we…