I was baking bread for some friends, but they didn't have parchment paper and it stuck to the bottom of the pot. After a few minutes of prying and swearing I triumphantly held it aloft and shouted (in my most offensive Russian accent) "I SAVE BREAD!"

No one got it. I was sad.

Young Chevy Chase = crazy hot. Like, fanning myself hot. Too bad he's such an asshole.

My husband and I moved in together basically immediately—within a month to be sure. We would have gotten married within a year as well, but I wanted a wedding in our botanical gardens and that pushed the timing back a while. I don't highly recommend other folks follow our timeline, but it'll be 10 years married this…

Fuck off. I like milk and I'm gonna drink it. My ancestors worked hard to develop an adult-aged tolerance to milk thousands of years ago and I'll be damned if I'm going to let their hard work go to waste because some fucking know it all thinks milk is evil.

Oh well sure, it will be voluntary, of course! I'm not going to sit in the bushes with a dart gun....

Vaccinated but got Whooping Cough in collage High 5! We should start a club. A club that goes around and gives freshmen all their booster shots.

How about the insurance company covers the non-vaccinated kid's measles treatment, but it's just a loan. The parents get to pay it back at something like 25% interest.

Congrats!

Disposable pastry bags are seriously handy and very inexpensive. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00… Ditto the metal tips. Use the pastry bags and everyone will think you are baller.

For work I have five work-issued shirts in different colors and a few pairs of work-appropriate jeans and khakis.

I can't help it. I'm a child of the 90s. Those dancers look so fucking cool. :\

For real though, my 3 year old watched this with me and started begging for a kit of his own.

I get them shelled in the bulk bins. Don't worry about the salt, you can just cut back the salt in the pesto recipe. I've been growing my own basil for years just for pesto. I grow mint for mojitos and tabouli, and mixed 50/50 with spinach it makes a great pesto too.

Alton Brown recommends pistachios. I love them! They're already green!

Also an Iowan, also cringing. Sorry guys. Sorry.

Philips HF3500/60 Wake-Up Light Got it on sale. It's not perfect, but it does what I need.

I am awful at getting out of bed. I feel like shit and snooze too many times and have a little mini tantrum in my head every morning. I recently hit on what seems like a winning wakeup recipe, mostly by accident:

I love wrapping with cloth! When I see cute fat quarters or remnants I like to stock up. Best part is, you can totally reuse them! And people are super impressed when it's actually way easier than paper!

http://www.jennymccarthybodycount.com