Cooper: (leashed to a tree in the front yard, gazes longingly through the window at the food, light, warmth and merriment inside)

Fuck me, a Canadian team is going to win the Stanley Cup, aren’t they?

I’d like to mention you omitted Jeet Heer, and how that relates to today’s Pepe meme culture (1/78)

My friend Homer works at a plant and said that you can just get one of those Dunking Bird office toys to hit the over-ride button... nobody will know....

Haven’t seen someone spend this much time running around Philadelphia with inevitable disappointment on the horizon since Hillary Clinton.

I totally misread that as a Batman game with Damon Wayans...

Fuck, this comment section is Deadspin at its absolute worst. Fuck everyone here who thinks Mixon was in the right, or that his reaction was understandable.

Go on. I can’t finish if you don’t go on.

Residents of Cobb County now looking to move to San Diego.

Aw, cute - he’s using the same routine his dad’s team uses on the field:

Obviously someone got an 11 killstreak.

You seem to have closed the fantasy football story comments, so here’s my team & I’m sure hoping that Baltimore doesn’t ball out tonight. I’d be quite happy surviving Moncrief & Wilson if so :)

I went out, had the lobster bisque, we elected Trump and yadda, yadda, yadda, Я никогда не говорил по-английски снова.

We now know why his hands are so small, the water in the pool was cold.

The Cubs will use this to draft prospects with really tight ligaments after bone breaks. I saw a documentary about twenty years ago that showed one such case.

Were it not for the internet I probably wouldn’t have known. But that is generally because I try not to watch shows to figure it out. I just kind of zone out.

The biggest reveal was that Mauve wasn’t actually making the rebellious decisions she thought she was.

Careful with that talk. You don’t want to get fork-stabbed do you?

None more black.

“... and when I hung up the phone it occurred to me, my boy was just like me yeah, my boy was just like me...