THERE STILL AREN’T ANY WOMEN WHO WANT TO FUCK YOU, GOEBBLES-LITE.

Still do not understand why ignoring people isn’t an option... Mariah’s “I don’t know her” wins every damn time, just copy that.

Dear Harvey,

Person #912 to say this, but dang, Redskins and QB legs, not a great history (and no, I won’t watch the video, I threw up on old footage of Theismann). 

I do wonder, and I’ll guess I’m not the only one, if it would be prudent for some of us who live in densely populated blue areas to deliberately move to more rural red states in an intentional pilgrimage to flip them.  I mean, I don’t wanna, but if I had the mobility to head out to say, Wyoming, I could influence more…

I can’t begin to describe the joy of seeing Rohrabacher’s name in the Ls. It’s been over a decade of living here and voting against this slimy shitstack to no avail... but it’s Finally Happened. Bye Felicia.

This, but honestly it’s gotta be more than just pamphlets.  Parenting is SO. HARD.  And it gets primal.  It’s incredibly difficult to parent differently than you were parented.  Even if you were parented well, the stress of work and money and taking care of another human being who lacks the capacity to take care of…

The “and I turned out alright” is the same defense for NOT bothering with safety equipment or vaccinations. Sure, you survived. But the reason this shit exists is because A LOT OF CHILDREN DIDN’T AND THEY AREN’T HERE TO TELL YOU THAT.

So does this mean that the president can be charged as a co-conspirator? Can this set precedence?? Can we legally establish liability on his part for violence done in his name? That’s the only possible justification I can see for such a claim. 

Florida Man strikes again! Also, stop this thing, I want off.

Misogyny is endemic to white supremacy.  #shocking Glad she’s leaving him, hope he loses every fucking penny and any custody rights. 

If you’re horizontal, it all evens out. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, assuming no back pain issues, even vertical works if the strength-to-weight ratio is high enough. Also, counter tops! Lastly, it’s a myth all big men have big schwanzes. Often average size. Not necessarily pelvis-breaking. Thanks for coming to my short human TED…

average-size pants, wide leg.  

Okay. I’m a weirdo mom.

How will I ever know the critical advice about my unconsummated marriage??

Time for the daily meditation, “This country fucking sucks, time to change it.” I don’t have a receipt or I’d return it. 

Actual footage of McConnell discussing voter registration.

So the thing is, Tom has always reminded me of my first boyfriend. The appearance, mannerisms, and general “vibe” are about the same, including the atrocious tattoos and wrist bands and haircut that all signal maximum brotitude (where I am from).

I gotta... just, two minutes here... what the everloving fuck is WRONG with the banner-pic doll’s fingers?? I mean, they’re even manicured, but are they also, you know, broken? 

Shana tovah.