I wish I was a tenth of the man the Nick Offerman is. 

-28456, -28457, -28458.... Kurt wrote all of Courtney’s songs. 

I always thought of Harmon as Mr. Poopybutthole more than anything, not that he is a beloved long time family friend, I just don’t think he wipes very well.

5 bucks, I’ll put my entire paycheck on that.

N’awlins is a rough town, hope she doesn’t run afoul of the crime boss Big Daddy I read about in Parade magazine. 

No we will surely pay for our Hubris

They got Mallard Fillmore too.

For me it all depends on the delivery device, if its a bowl I just Tear it, if I’m going to roll it I Cut it, if I’m going to cook with it then I Chop it... wait, this article was about getting stoned wasn’t it?

Working through some issues? 

Oh that’s a real piece of garbage right there. I moved back home when I was 22 and honestly I quite liked. To this day the best roommates I have ever had we’re my parents. But I paid rent and did chores, so at least I had a leg up on this piece of garbage.

Brie-ing is already a thing, its when you stare lustfully at Alison Brie’s unshod feet.

someone who has obviously never met a barrel maker, bunch scam artists the whole lot of them.

do you realize how much spit you have eaten in your life?

This is almost as cool as that time Michael Jackson stopped at my house to take a leak.

Ok I’ll teach you all the proper way to eat a Snickers bar.

Oh yeah, this is why I come to the AV Club, thanks for the reminder.

What was that Plan the General Ripper used to launch the strike called again?

I was spared, time to start hording.

The Villain just wants to take over the world? That’s down right mundane by the new standard.

because one is a comedian and the other is the President.