I’m willing to bet that Tomatoface Gruden (third in line behind Chairface Chippendale and the Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight for best Tick villain) had a handshake agreement with AB to skip preseason so long as AB cooked up a viable excuse.

And thus, the helmet grievance.

Father, Elmer Thudd, couldn’t be reached for comment as he was on his annual rabbit hunt.

LA Beast is amazing. He puts himself through hell - he doesn’t involve anyone else - purely for entertainment purposes. He SEEMS to be a completely decent guy with no filter whatsoever. If you’re new to his schtick, I say go spend a few minutes searching / reviewing. The sugar free gummy bears one is stunning to see.

I’m torn. Just about a year ago, I got a 2014 VW TDI with fewer miles (12,991), two pedals (DSG), and way more practicality for almost the exact same price shown here.

Jetta Sportwagen! It’s certainly not a convertible, but it’s got the pano roof.

Do you remember when Raiders got rid of possibly the best defensive player in the NFL who was younger than Antonio Brown because his insistence he be paid what he was worth was too much trouble?

2014 VW Jetta TDI
(now with more Dieselgate fixes!)

With zero warning, under completely random conditions, I get a CEL and a flashing glow plug ...and limp mode. I can do a rolling reset (pop it into neutral, key off, key on, back into drive) and it’ll clear the CEL and I’ll have full power again.

The car has spent a…

Here’s the short version:

What: 1991 Nissan 300ZX
Where: I-294 north of Chicago
When: evening rush hour

I was driving along with traffic (nothing crazy, but there were certainly cars on the road). Everyone was going at a seemingly reasonable speed, when a snail appeared in my lane. I was boxed in, but then there was an…

S-M-R-T

Regardless of who any of the teams puts in the QB position, this will still be very, very true.

And from 2006-2008 the S6 featured a 5.2L V10 that made about 435hp and 440tq. The RS6 of that era, which never came to the US, was that same motor with boost.

Chicago: guys will start shining your shoes and immediately demand payment. Or they’ll do it for a set amount (usually like $10) and then go double or nothing that they can tell you how many kids your dad had. (It’s zero, mom had them all.)

Also Chicago: they’ll convince you that people only eat pan pizza there.

New…

Yeah, short bus or ambulance is probably the right answer. Should be able to get a used bus with 150k miles and a hydraulic wheelchair platform for like $6k. Alternately, ditch the moving platform and get a ramp and the cost of the bus comes down to maybe $4500 (centralstatesbus.com) for something with 200k miles.

I…

Shit like this is why I automatically assume that every black person I meet thinks I’m a fucking idiot who’s beyond redemption.

I swear we’re not all morons, but the only ones of us who ever make the news do so for being truly, completely stupid.

(On the flip side, I did get told today that I walk “like a black dude…

Also have a 14 TDI JSW. Love it. Picked it up Aug 2018. Had under 13k on the clock.

Parking on a driveway and driving on a parkway ...all while arresting the person who had the gall to ram into you (after you blew through a stop sign).

That said ...fair enough. I’ll let the sidewalk identify as a driveway for the time being.

The way that Jeep just kind of flips into the driveway, seemingly normally parked, is pretty amazing, too.

re: shoes ...

I like this opinion.

*biased agreement with biased opinion from a DSG-having diesel wagon owner*

And when chipped via KermaTDI, he’ll make about 350tq and still get 40mpg on the highway.

You leave Mercedes Benz out of this.
And Lancia.
And Mercedes Benz.
And Fiat.
And Ferrari a couple of times.
And Mercedes a few more as well.