I don’t know what chihuahuas and Saggitarians you’re hanging out with, but I wouldn’t describe either group as “nonchalant and sleepy”.

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read in my life

I love how when asked about that recently she said; “I was on drugs when I said that. I meant it, but I was on drugs.” I respect the  honesty and the message. 

Maybe it’s a Steven vs Stephen thing?

Wow I guess I have a crush on Cardi B now.

This is so good? This is SO good. 

Antoni and Karamo look like rivals for your heart in a bodice ripper I just decided I’m writing. 

By the Grace of God, Rosamund Felicity Shaftslapper the Strong

I love her and I am her. 

I had to stop watching this at work because it made me cry? Truly no comparison exists. The one and only queen. 

I have a playlist on Spotify that was intended to be a guilty pleasures type playlist, but I only ever added these two exact songs. I feel no guilt about that.

“it’s better to be single than coupled up with the wrong person.”

This has been my mantra for four years. Repeat this forever and ever and never fucking forget it. I’d rather be lonely alone, than lying next to someone who makes me feel lonely.

I hope he will, because I am part of the whole world and I like to make out.

soylent green is the met ball is people!

Dolly Parton once lost a Dolly Parton drag look-alike contest

“There were times when we would have literally the worst night ever and would wake up the next day and it’s like it never happened.”

Fuuuuuuuck, this is the ultimate worst feeling. Like they’re gaslighting you without even trying - how can it be real if he doesn’t remember it happening?Kelis, drinks (or milkshakes) on…

Jen Barkley is my hero.

My roommate babysits his boss’s dog fairly regularly. She’s an exceptionally cute, fluffy, tiny, perfect, pointless little demon. He expresses his love for her by holding her up to his face and sighing “oh my god I just want to POP YOU”. You’re not alone - we’re all nuts for cuteness.

Fun fact! She’s four years closer in age to the oldest kid than she is to Scot! So charming! SO CHARMING.

Ironically, I just want to chant “LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!”

Oh god do I feel this. Years back, I went to my (now ex) boyfriend’s sister’s wedding. I didn’t know anyone and found myself alone for much of the evening. His sister was the only member of his family who was in any way friendly, and she was obviously busy on her wedding day. I had been wandering around the venue…