Look everyone, it’s Debbie Downer.

You are there to answer some damn questions.

I’ve seen more headlines here about Bill Simmons and Barstool than specific sports stories.

I’m such a Deadspin fanboy that I hate Barstool Sports despite the fact that I’ve never visited their site.

I would guess that all the other teams know she works for the Mets and would limit her access to anything they wouldn’t want a rival to find out.

My interest in baseball far outstrips my interest in ESPN and I may have watched a grand total of 18 innings of baseball on TV over the past 2 years.

I don’t know, local play by play teams are usually employed by the teams that they announce for, right? So I don’t think there’s really much expectation of color analysts of being super critical of teams. I agree that Sponcon crap and journalists getting in bed with brands and what not is super gross, but I’m not sure…

Sir, the Overly-Defensive Readings we’re picking up...they’re off the chart. 

Hey Mayo boy, please come to my house and whip up some homemade mayo everytime I want a sandwich.

The only thing more satisfying than realizing the week is almost over is watching looking at a picture of someone heat-shaving the marbles off a race-run tire. Mmmmmm. Yawwwwwwn.

Seems pretty obvious.  He either tested positive for some kind of a contractually-banned substance, or he put his paws on a woman.  Hopefully this is the last time we hear about this moron. 

My suggestion: Death penalty for all 4 Boston area teams.

Guess what, you don’t have to listen to WEEI, pre and post-game shows, and the general Boston sports media bullshit. It’s much more enjoyable without them. Deadspin, the Athletic, Fangraphs, even the Ringer will give you much better info and insight.

This sounds fake to me.  The picture isn’t even real.  Cars do not make a dog bone impression after it snows.  Look at the other cars, the impression is rectangular.

Yeah - I don’t believe this, sorry.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is nuts, but this is a statistically nonexistent situation. Planes are affected by weather far more than trains.

And you'll tell anyone you can about it any chance you get.

The real problem was dining out on Valentine’s Day and expecting anything but a rushed, cramped, harried experience.

A kitchen was able to turn out its signature dish really fast... on Valentine’s Day? You felt pressured to turn your table really fast... on Valentine’s Day?

The restaurant’s only fault was bringing your main before your girlfriend’s. That’s unconscionably stupid.