I'm a Pirates fan, so I'm all about Rocktober and Clint Hurdle's beautiful, strawberry tinted face and fist sized wad of gum.

The Rockies have also been to the World Series, so take that, what I’m assuming is Expos/Nationals and/or Mariners fan. But yeah, they’re terrible. The park is fantastic on a summer day, though.

He’s right, we need a 500 Days of Dongers

I daresay no Rocky has done that much donging since Sylvester Stallone’s early-career porn days.

“Nice swing, bro!”

You are missing out, mate.

“I will see him in the Congo this summer so him and I will talk back home with nobody around us.”

Who wants to sex Biyombo?

Some would say tattooing such a small child is irresponsible, but I say go for it if she’s already got the mustache.

Good to know “Rocks for Jocks” is part of the curriculum at more than one school.

Good time to remember:

Speaking of stimulation, avoid consumption of sexually aggressive food such as tea, candy, cinnamon and peppermint. Said Kellogg, “Tea and coffee have led thousands to perdition in this way. Candies, spices, cinnamon, cloves, peppermint, and all strong essences, powerfully excite the genital organs and lead to the…

Peter Crouch also gave one of the best media answers in history. When asked what he’d be if he wasn’t a footballer, he responded “a virgin.”

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

I deserve that.

I think Simmons is a fascinating case. Pioneered is a really strong word. But he was one of the first writers to start out blogging about local sports and pop-culture and parlay that into a national gig. And when he was the Boston Sports Guy, he was great. There was really not a lot like him out there. And then he…

Despite the fact that Simmons has, uh, limited camera appeal...

Did you scream out “THESE PIPES ARE CLEEEEAAAAAN” ?

You were then a Cabin Man.

“We’re home.”