Some would say tattooing such a small child is irresponsible, but I say go for it if she’s already got the mustache.

Good to know “Rocks for Jocks” is part of the curriculum at more than one school.

Good time to remember:

Speaking of stimulation, avoid consumption of sexually aggressive food such as tea, candy, cinnamon and peppermint. Said Kellogg, “Tea and coffee have led thousands to perdition in this way. Candies, spices, cinnamon, cloves, peppermint, and all strong essences, powerfully excite the genital organs and lead to the…

Peter Crouch also gave one of the best media answers in history. When asked what he’d be if he wasn’t a footballer, he responded “a virgin.”

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

I deserve that.

I think Simmons is a fascinating case. Pioneered is a really strong word. But he was one of the first writers to start out blogging about local sports and pop-culture and parlay that into a national gig. And when he was the Boston Sports Guy, he was great. There was really not a lot like him out there. And then he…

Despite the fact that Simmons has, uh, limited camera appeal...

Did you scream out “THESE PIPES ARE CLEEEEAAAAAN” ?

You were then a Cabin Man.

“We’re home.”

He’s getting off on all 69 charges? Nice.

His behind-the-ears tattoo signifies that he’s killed a career.

Nice smugshot.

“We dropped a radioactive bomb on them, and then they had to rebuild their culture... If ya’ll dropped a bomb on me and I had to rebuild my culture, I’d be doing game shows about bears masturbating too.” - Donald Glover

He’s just confirming his love of Ween.

“my DM’s not popping,” he says, furrowing his brow.

Now just because you feel like a Browns fan is no reason to act like a Colts owner.