Magnificent play for all four fans in attendance to enjoy.

I look forward to my Orioles once again shitting the bed against them in the ALDS in the near future.

I wonder if by “magic” during Sunday Night Football, they’re referring to Al Michaels being droll and intolerable and Cris Collinsworth having the likability and situational awareness of a potato.

This, undoubtedly, will be the Chargers’ play of the year. Look on the bright side, SD fans, the Browns’ play of the year was RGIII throwing a ball into someone’s back yard.

DAMN, Jamacian parents are a tough crowd. Russell Peters wasn’t kidding.

To make matters worse, there was no official within earshot to throw a flag after he bitched and moaned about how bad it was.

The police may be casting doubt, but just wait until Lochte the White casts a hex on them.

Briles continued, “I mean, not every Nazi knew what was going on at concentration camps, but you don’t see them taking the blame for- what’s that? Oh...”

*read in Morgan Freeman voice*

Clearly Jonas Junius is no genius.

I reject the idea of the “Red” club in Tampa Bay on the additional basis that no one enjoys Buccaneers football.

Wait a minute, fans in Philadelphia can get EJECTED?? I’m pretty sure I watched someone murder a guy at the Linc last year and the ushers just told him to tone it down a bit.

“Joey Votto seems particularly irritable this season.

Based on the structural integrity of his collarbones, he can’t claim that he’s big-boned either.

And here I sit, an Oriole fan holding out hope yet again with utter futility that our goddamn waste-of-space ownership group will trade for a starting pitcher worth something. We have Chris Tillman and a collection of garbage guys who will pitch garbage games.

“Sorry I went off on a tangent there-”

Finally, a stat worth counting at a Brewers game.

Not to worry, Jack Donaghy says the ratings will rebound during the Tetherball events.

A spokesperson from the NFL commented on the study’s results, saying “We should all be focused on the silver lining that we’ll have a generation of children growing into adults brain-damaged enough to still want to play in the NFL.”

And the craziest part about that for Izzo is that it’s actually almost worked a few times. I think the difference with basketball is if you can catch lightning in a bottle with two or three recruits, it’s all you need, whereas LSU has continued, year after year, to win close games because Les Miles runs some hook and…