I like it. Much better than every player who looks like Luke Voit playing some pop country garbage by a guy who could very well be named Luke Voit.

They were just as slow at the opener the previous two seasons.  They’re always slow.

I think it’s obvious to anyone with the barest sentience level that Trump is deeply entangled in money-laundering for various oligarchs and their interests. It’s why he poses such a risk as president — he’s not a “Russian agent”; he’s just been totally open to blackmail by Russian economic interests.

I just like imagining it’s one big kindergarten and Simon said “Touch your head!”

The Founders did not see the Federalist Society coming. They did not anticipate having one of two major parties devoted entirely to plutocratic plunder, and being able to do so because of the financial and institutional support of a mega-wealthy elite. They whiffed on that one.

“Great shooting, Fletcher Magee” sounds like a sarcastic insult from an archery festival.

Pretty sure it would be the food doing the asshole ripping in that scenario.

When are we going to get a ranking of each ballpark’s signature food? I’d love to read someone on staff ripping each signature dish a new asshole.

It’s just like the old saying - people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw minestrones. 

MORE SOUP FOR YOU!

Some mornings I wake up to pure Twitter gold.

Beto be like:

I’m outraged that Doordash pays its drivers so little that they have to play minor league ball to make ends meet.

what idiot called it Rath allegedly “touched an adult woman against her will on intimate parts of her body for the purpose of sexual arousal and gratification” and not The Gropes of Rath

And yet we aren’t judging Christianity by the actions of Mormons, Westboro Baptist, the Catholic Church molesters, etc. etc.

Yeah, if I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t think the goalie’s going to know what I’m doing.

When Islam is putting judges in our courts and targeting gays in this country with laws, then we’ll start shitting on them. In the US, christianity is a scourge on our politics. Both religions are horse shit, but christianity is dominant in this country.

She’s dating him for the D. Not because he’s a (D).

People seem to hate on Booker because he seems “out of touch” I guess? Because he’s got a super clean lifestyle, is a teetotaler, doesn’t have any obvious dirt on him politically and just seems genuinely nice. I personally think it’s not a terrible thing to be, as a politician. But it’s not that personally relatable…