I am a spinster in reality and a Buzzfeed quiz told me I have no soulmate.

He doesn’t bathe but that’s just because he is shy of water!

I’ve been thinking I was just in a coma and none of this is real. But now, you have alerted me to the fact that I am, in fact, dead. So... thanks, I guess? It’s like the series finale of “Lost” but worse.

How dare you talk that way about a future Patriot Awards winner!

McCarthy apparently didn’t bother to read that modified transcript the WH put out. He basically accused Scott Pelley of making up a quote. The most famous “do me a favor” quote. Lazy.

It’s the frowny mouth.  Smile Donnie!

And quoting... Kim Kardashian.  Lord.

Nah. I just eat bon bons and watch Maury Povich. ;)

I chant “I need more money, I need more money” to myself all the time and yet am not any richer, what am I doing wrong?

No, Andrew, no.

Some truly frightening alliances are being formed in this administration, y’all. The dumping of Pounce could spark a family feud!

Pretty sure something just as awful has already been written.

Has she signed a book deal yet?  Desperate Housewife to Jail Bird, the Felicity Huffman story.

And he does think Melanie’s son is a wonderful young man.

All four of my wives really loved me.

Jerry Falwell, Jr.

Drill baby drill!

Lol.  That scandal is about to break wide open.

The Good Christians have three wives and a porn star now.  Try to keep up, babe!

She thinks her father molested her sisters.  So maybe not surprising.