Later headline:

Sorry, it is currently out of stock. But hey, you saved $525!!!

I credit MapQuest with enabling me to get the hell out of Texas. Apparently I could not read actual maps and so was stuck there for years, now live in the Pacific Northwest. True story.

Some writer in article about Ann Coulter described her (jokingly, or maybe not) as living on gummy bears and Diet Pepsi. This sounds so plausible to me. I 100% believe it is true.

People worship Trump for his money and lifestyle. Honestly, it would have been better if she just wore a dress made of cash.

C’mon, these are the people that are going to make America great again!

What kind of animal are YOU?

Nine kids in the Wahlberg family. Sisters did not do their job.

I think we all know whose knife it is...

C’mon now, it’s “I must break you.” Get it right!

Webb only became a democrat a few years ago. He is basically a repub. He recently said he would never vote for Clinton and could see himself voting for Trump. So...

Real name: John Stephens. So...?

You may have missed the boat. I think it’s best if you see it when you are a child or in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.

I cannot recall.

I used to love reading books about politics when I was younger. I can't remember the book, but there was a story about Reagan being unprepared for an important summit type meeting. He admitted that The Sound of Music had been on TV the previous night and he just had to watch it instead of reading the briefings.…

But what will Jesus and the GOP say, John?

New slogan:

The North spread rumors that the South was dropping out. The South really only wanted to go home and gets some clean shirts.

Dubya hates Ted Cruz. I read somewhere that he calls him “Theodore,” which really pisses Raphael off.