Anyone else notice how hard Dash was trying not to cry while Meredith was raking her through reality like a hoe through spring’s fresh manure?

“You’re So Beautiful Just Like U R (As Long As You’re Conventionally Beautiful)”

Not gonna lie- Hilary Duffs gorgeous bowling squad looks like my worst nightmare.

I guessed Robin Thicke.

That is horrible. I’m starring it.

I always imagined the toes would go in first. This looks like the dude is growing a foot out of his mouth. Terrifying.

Shit in the sink. It’s the right thing to do.

I’m 46 as well, can I be a grand old gentleman? I like the sound of that.

you seem fun

The feels...

May I present one of my favourite Twitter People : Woman against Feminism

Wait, I get a hat, too?

If you listen to all the things that the Christian Right claims are acts of Satan and things that Satan wants, he actually sounds like a really nice, kind person.

I’d love to see Satan’s day planner.

Plus Satan keeps his word. You win that fiddle, you get that fiddle.

I think my 6 year old has a crush on Jesse J. Not sure if I’m doing something wrong or something right. Also, I’m terrible because I originally read “Fleshlight”.

someone actually making a life out of reading these garbage hole websites

Girl I would never do anything grim involving puppies, puppies are my escape from all the shit I write about, puppies are sacred

At the funeral of a co-worker who died young (19 years old) from a hole in his heart, the evangelical pastor kept prattling on about how it was Gods will and he’s now in a better place and all that stuff. The kid was raised in a strict evangelical Christian home, but later developed his own sense of identity when it…

I’m sure you’ll all be glad to know that I do my part by having never once stepped foot inside a gym.