Every time I see a headline that starts with “Pat Robertson,” I secretly hope that it will be followed by, “Dies in Bizarre Anal Sex Ritual.”

this is (admittedly) a weird response. But Frances McDormand. Anyone who gives so little of a fuck that she wears a Gap jean jacket to the Oscars must be fun.

You should start a business where you write apologies for people. I started out reading your comment with my eyes ready in starting position for an eye roll, but you won me over. Seriously, that would have been a PERFECT apology. Yes, comedians use twitter as a sketchpad, but it is still public and you still have to…

You know, I take serious issue with the fact we are calling this idiotic. The jokes he wrote weren’t funny, and they were definitely antisemitic and weirdly misogynistic for literally no reason. It didn’t even improve the stupid, shitty jokes. Had he been, say, a Republican staffer who was making inappropriate…

2939 Renwick St, Monroe, LA 71201 (318) 387-8441

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

Perhaps you got knocked up by a Chilean miner

sorry - take a sec to process and mourn and then we can move on

If anyone wants to read more earnest-yet-sometimes-pithy reviews of church services, go to the Ship of Fools (the Magazine of Christian Unrest) and browse the Mystery Worshipper archive. Mystery Worshippers have the option of leaving their card on the collection plate. Services get marked on things including the…

“Restaurant food was decent but I had to provide my own bread and wine. The next day I was nailed to a plank of wood and died. Would not recommend.”

yougotsentenced.com

I’m fucking addicted. This person has developed such a personality and backstory, must follow. I love the theme of her sleeping with a Black man who was dating a Black woman at the time...beautiful detail.

hahah. Those are actually really funny. I kind of like this account...? I’m not really one to follow, but is it wrong if I follow them?

His comment history is a fucking gold mine! I’m literally lmao:

The only context where that sentence is OK is in a discussion about the fact that deep dish is not, in fact, pizza and that those who eat deep dish are denying themselves (most likely) the time and hunger (which does assume there is a limited time/hunger available for pizza-type-food enjoyment) to actually enjoy REAL…

I will watch it, but only if they get Bob Saget back, and only if they let him work blue this time.

Team Cheers will whoop Team Family Ties.

Never knew until just now that Comet and Air Bud were the same dog. Dog had the most successful career of anyone on the show.

[looks around to make sure nobody’s listening]

I think I came, I think I came