Thank you Gov. Pence. The discussion was revolving around Russia and Mr. Putin, but since you’ve been his VP candidate, we know what the man with the best words actually meant.

Thought you said you were old.

If you’re covered in BBQ sauce, you’re doing it wrong.

Those are Dodgers Stadium prices, not at the local pub! Hell, not even at a neck-beard trendy establishment are prices that high.

Considering the drunks I grew up around in Salina, conference calls would be at the bottom of the list.

God damn it. I am glad I moved out of Brownbackistan back when I was 19. FFS.

Cause she works for an asshat who seems to only value women based on their looks more than brainpower and is unfortunately relevant because of her boss’ long public history of judging women on looks and age? Just a guess.

Everybody knows you can’t grab pussy with a Limp Dick Kit. Or permission.

#allfingerlingsmatter

No. The kid asked for homework without specifying it should be for the entire class. Guess who will be getting laughed at for asking a question which could have punished the whole class but completely backfired? Not you.

(Although I don’t know you and not trying to be offensive) You’re an asshole.

Don’t forget #5 and #6! You know, cause the bankruptcies actually total six.

And three rights make a left.

Keeping Siri the fuck out of everything would be a nice start.

Siri needs to be deleted, not disabled. She sucks serious ass and I want all that space she takes up available for my garbage to soak up.

Stash that shit and blame them for it being missing. Then don’t buy a new one.

You’re just a bit off RAI. He’s even less qualified to be a stock broker: http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2016/jun/21/hillary-clinton/yep-donald-trumps-companies-have-declared-bankrupt/

Where do you live? Cabby’s in LA give zero fucks about paying attention. They drive like fucking farmers. Probably cause of fares.

Lucy. Passed Mother’s Day morning 2014.

I thought Jobs was fucked by Cook’s stylus previous to this attempt.