The first night in her big girl crib she bruised her forehead so bad, she looked like she was in a fight club. I'm always worried that people will think we're beating her up.

My kiddo got all her "tummy time" on my tummy. Anytime we put her on the floor/blanket/play yard she hollered her head off until she was red in the face.

I used to swim in the pool with one of those diving rings around my ankles to get the "tail motion" correct.

I don't drink wine, I just give it, so you're probably right :)

Our friend's recently had some out-of-town friends stay with them and because they don't drink the guests bought her a pair of Chuck Taylor sneakers which she LOVED.

Oh God, this is me now. I just figured it was leftover baby hormones, but I guess it's because I caught a case of the olds.

Eh, not really. Nobody puts an FF team together and thinks "now Im going to be a coach!"

Can we all just agree that word geek is now a person who is obsessive about something?

Janelle is always the best. AT EVERYTHING

But but...FREE MARKET. SOCIALISM BAAAD.

Oh yeah, there's actually a lot of lawsuits and discrimination cases brought up related to pregnancy and mat/pat leave...it's AWFUL.

I'm sorry, I ignored everything after I saw "Tamora Pierce". Whose your favorite character Lindy? I've always been partial to Diane and Sandry.f

Well, technically it's not called parental/maternity/paternity leave, it's the Family Medical Leave Act.

I like to eat my cakes and pies with a tiny baby fork like one of these

I'm not saying it is paternity leave, only that it can be used that way.

You can get up to 3 months of federally protected unpaid leave under the FMLA.

My husband was able to take a whole two weeks off, including staying in the hospital with me the whole time, and it still felt too short.

I live right down the street from a clinic that performs abortions as well as a "crisis pregnancy center".

Dude if FeedBaby (the app I use) went down I would LOSE MY SHIT. So I understand your crutch.