I actually really enjoyed the Cardinals’ book. I mean, there’s a lot of senseless violence and it has some questionable things to say about black people, but the prose is spectacular.

Something like the AR-15 differs only from a “real” assault rifle in the fact that it is not select fire - that is to say, it doesn’t have a full-auto mode. But they are not made for hunting, they are not made for target shooting, they are designed for the purpose of shooting people. The fact that they are not select…

The news about his hand is surprising, but I can say for sure that his girlfriend will not be shocked.

Jason Pierre Paw

One source said the procedure Pierre-Paul had done Sept. 4 to “close up” his middle finger was still fresh when he met with team doctors on Sept. 7.

“We have video. 6 games.” - Roger Goodell

Just because you took an abstinence pledge doesn't mean you get to force it on others.

If he were a real Dodger fan he would have been listening to the double as he pulled out of the Angel Stadium parking lot.

So the Giants were trying to get away with a four-fingered discount?

Battery. People, please learn the distinction.

The History Channel, rich baritone voiceover.

Looks like a stuntmans knee on top of her neck.

“never have to worry about sickness”

“Give? Such a womanly concept. I don’t give, I invest.”

Rovell: Maybe it turns out racism isn’t even racist. Maybe it turns out the invisible hand is black.

They kept getting trapped in the invisible box offense.

ALL THE “THEY’RE USING THE SILENT COUNT” JOKES

Fffffuuuuuuuuck

+ 1 line for negative, 2 for positive

“Those bastards in Bristol are ruining everything,” Palin continued. “I’ll be babysitting every weekend ‘til I’m fucking 75 years old at this rate.”

“Now...where was I on the ESPN thing....oh right, Curt Schilling...”