So there’s no such domain as @FIFA.com or @ IOC.com?

Moore’s next column: Dez, Nuts.

Who shot? J.R.

Because Alex Smith is an anagram for Le Max Shit, which sounds French.

+1 stint in the penalty box

+1 seat right over there

This is the first thing I see when I open the internet today. Who knew a 15 year old from Iowa could give me such joy on my birthday? I feel like Jared Fogle.

+X according to your needs

Pretty typical of a Red to blame history on Bourgeois instincts.

Any matchup between Baylor and Texas Tech is mostly BUTT.

She didn’t assert they were. If you’re doing an article about carbs the overwhelming majority of pictures accompanying will be of potatoes, pasta, or bread, and there wouldn’t have been pasta or bread a million years ago at all.

You should probably direct this article to Atkins dieters, as paleo dieters don't demonize carbs, per se. The basic things to avoid for paleo dieters are grains (primarily wheat and corn), sugar, and dairy. Potatoes are not necessarily off the list unless you're in weight loss mode. Once you're in a healthy weight…

As a Giants fan, I’m conflicted. On the one hand, he’s been remarkably consistent. On the other hand, his consistency means he’s likely to get the deal but somehow return the signed contract to the wrong team.

Doctor: Bryan, do you know where you are?

Your hot taker hot took without consequence.

Nobody ever accused DeAngelo of not being a Smooth Operator #SadeInFootball

Rex claimed I.K. because, as we all know, the Enemkpali of our enemy is our friend.

My question is, if Markieff hurts his hand beating up a guy outside a Pheonix rec center will Marcus feel the pain in his own hand up in Detroit?

I will forever maintain that this should’ve been an “Archer” movie.

Is this the point where we make the leap to Volquez attempting to kill Donaldson in cold blood? That’s usually the next step in Deadspin Commentariat Royals Overreaction Theater.