Ugh, married-ins are the worst. No, I lied, second worst. Side pieces are the worst. My best friend’s dad died when we were in college and she got a nasty surprise when his latest side piece in a loooong line of side pieces showed up to the funeral expecting to be treated like family-ugly sobbing. As someone who was…

I call it the hierarchy of histrionics. If the closest family members aren’t ballyhooing at the funeral, neither are you. If you are one of those people who is a sympathetic crier or who is really emotional, Do. Not. Go. to these events, you are only making it worse for the people who have the right to actually…

I’ve got an antique kimono I wear with a tank dress when I don’t feel like wearing an evening gown to events! I love them!

I have a dress code, so I have to wear dress shoes. I’ll often do slim ankle pants with black patent leather pointed toe flats. It looks dressy but is still comfortable.

Good lord those are tacky. I am so glad platform pumps are out.

They look professional and polished and are comfortable to run around in. I have sky high heels and I have super low heels. Seeing how tacky Melania and the Duchess of Cambridge look in their super high heels in their respective roles put me completely off wearing my 4" stilettos in my office. It looks…

It’s not difficult to avoid the PMI scam. Find a local portfolio lender (i.e. one that holds its own notes). You just have to know about it and your realtor is not about to tell you because they just want their check yesterday and shady brokers approve loans quickly (can you tell I hate realtors?).

Incredibly shitty.

This. I don’t know anyone who is multi-lingual who isn’t switching over into another language to prevent others from hearing what they’re saying. It’s super rude. The last guy I dated is Mexican. His mom and sister invited me into tell he kitchen tell her help them prepare dinner and spent the entire time talking…

Yeah, but of she went for an FHA loan, she would only have to put down 3.5%. Or if she went with a 0% down, low closing cost option at at local bank, she might have been able to swing this. Government-backed loans also allow for higher debt to income ratios. A $250,000 loan would run you about $1200 a month, add to…

“I know it can be grating anytime you read some Ina Garten recipe and it insists on using “good” olive oil or something like that.”

Yeah, she was one year into a relationship with her rich Jewish husband whose family already hated her because she is the shiksa-ist shiksa to ever shiksa. She was not about to risk that over some geriatric, over-the-hill, has-been playboy. Ran into him at an airport bar once and acted polite because he used to be…

If you are of child-bearing years and sexually active, you are at risk of pregnancy, planned or unplanned, even if you use some firm of birth control. Warning women about the affects of life-altering substances is not only medically responsible, but legally responsible. No moron can say, “but no one told me!!!!” when…

THIS. I have nothing more to add to this than I would like a grown man who doesn’t spend Sunday drooling in front of a football game and doesn’t think that sitting through a ballet is a favor worthy of all of the blow jobs.

Or a child’s size pink Range Rover. It would be foolish to expect anything else.

I LOVE Murder, She wrote. I watch Netflix 50% as much as I used to since it was taken off.

My contact list is a sea of Jessicas, Jennifers, Amandas, Ashleys, and Caitlins/Kaitlyns/Catelyns

I’m over here like, did we really expect her to not pick a stripper name for this baby? Is that a thing we did?

Ditto. I’ve left more than one baby shower early, disgusted by a friend dranking booze. Like, why?

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏