There isn’t. We just have a gigantic problem with alcohol consumption in this country that nobody wants to address. Count all of the “my mom/grandmother totally drank during pregnancy and we all turned out juuuuussst fine” comments. It’s gross.

God. This.

Dude. I’m going to make a bingo card for these types of blogs:

Things I thought it might have been:

This. It’s often reported that she only stays at her engagements briefly, so why are they going to spend half the time putting away and fetching her things?

The pet rock of health food scams. Didn’t fall for this nonsense either.

Are these ride or die friends or 2nd or 3rd tier friends? It might just be my group of friends, but my closest friends share everything with each other. They are Friends. They’re spouses and significant others will always be friends. They get invitations to events as long as they are with my Friends. After that, I…

Every time I see a man do something gross that good home training would have prevented I’m like, did your mother hate you? Were you raised by wolves?

Salt and vinegar! Yuuuuummmmmmm

Fuck this shit. I love doritos. I will lick my fingers in public, but I pour the crumbs into my hand because I wasn’t raised by wolves. Haven’t been kicked out of the Junior League yet.

Sorry, I think you missed the last part of my first comment. None of my friends who bought into the myth are ‘happy’ like they thought they would be. They all say the same thing. Motherhood is hard and mostly drudgery (“BUT I DON’T REGRET IT I’M NOT A MONSTER”) and their husbands are far less helpful and committed…

On her 16th birthday, my boss’ daughter comes to visit for lunch. She walks in the door and proudly declares, “does it show?” Well. 10 grown ass women, badass attorneys, a couple argued in front of the Supreme Court, a couple are hostage negotiators. With one voice, all of us bellow DOES WHAT SHOW???!!! She’s all,…

Careers are goals, houses are goals, big trips are goals, learning a language is a goal. Things that you can work towards are goals. You can’t “work towards” marriage. You either meet the right person or you don’t. I suppose if you’re a single person you can adopt, hire a surrogate, or go through IVF, but in the…

I agree. A large portion of my friends spent our twenties desperately roaming the countryside with a man-sized net. Smart, funny, awesome women charging after the sub-par male stock we’ve got stinking up the world. They all married down in terms of intelligence, ambition, competence, character, and personality but…

Ditto. I’m 32 and it’s still my biggest fear. Biggest. Fear. Without question.

UGH. Sales training is the fucking worst. Especially when the trainer takes a sciencey term and applies it to sales “we’re going to check the telemetry ::moves hand, palm down, up and down like that’s what telemetry is:: here to make sure the temperature of the room is just right”. Fuck that shit.

This causes me physical pain every time I see it. Every. Time.

This. For the last 10+ years, since I’ve been watching the show, every time a guy plans a hike for a date, I’m like, no fucking way. I’m not trying to get murdered over here.

This. There are attorneys who get up in the morning, hoping that something like shows up on their desks. They gun for the big money and the notoriety. The big money isn’t necessarily the billable hours, but the memoir, the movie, and a global consulting gig.

Is Sarah Jessica Parker done using interviews as her fainting couch? Because I am sick of her overwrought shit.