Everyone I know who does this shit is a lifelong office drone who doesn’t really have any goals in life and can’t feel anything otherwise

I’m a Boston fan and never encounter any of these stories in the course of my usual media consumption. This seems like a problem suffered only by sports writers, but you also got a half-assed post out of it, so how about we call everything square and you go back to wheezing your way around the house.

Sorry this horrible dude had the wrong horrible stuff attributed to him instead of the horrible stuff he actually did

Excellent. Do Blizzard next

Maybe it’s not a great idea to base every industry in the same disgustingly corrupt city just un thought

Overwatch is the worst game Blizzard ever released and it’s not close.

“They’re clearly fucking in there. I’m calling it.”
This is an astonishingly lazy joke even by your standards.

A Kidney Shot would have stunned for the full six seconds just saying

As these are both male narwhals, there’s no way for the holes to line up anyway.

Female narwhals don’t have tusks!

I know his HBO contract is technically separate from The Ringer but HBO is also invested in The Ringer and even those who hate Bill Simmons should acknowledge his website employs talented people who do good work.

Given how rare the Taken event can be and the very limited window on the spawn, how are people without massive blocks of open-ended time to constantly check the Io map (the Taken event is the spawn at the northern edge of The Oasis, so at least you can see it coming a couple minutes in advance) supposed to get any…

Snake’s single-action M9 tranq pistol.

If you knew anything about clownfish you’d realize Nemo would (upon the death of his mom) mature into an adult male as Marlin gender-swaps to a female and then Nemo fucks and knocks up his former-dad-now-mom to repopulate the anemone.

None of the ocean things you posted are in any way harmful or dangerous to people whereas space is a freezing burning radioactive hellscape of nothingness.

Not an NHL fan but $7M/year doesn’t seem like a grotesque overpay for a good player at an important position in any major sport.

There’s an argument to be made that a middling team on the rise shouldn’t put itself in the luxury tax because the instant it starts contending you’re gonna be over the cap and repeater penalties start stacking and shrinking your “window.” But like the article says, this situation does not apply to the Denver Nuggets.

Rondo hasn’t been a plus defender since 2011.

Darkest post in Kotaku history.

As Zach Lowe mentioned on his podcast today, going to the Warriors means his team will have a deep playoff run and he’ll have a lot of time to get in shape and show off what he can after a January-February-who-knows start because that injury will keep him out for much of the regular season. If he joins the Knicks his…