Will they offer free continental breakfast with artisan covfefe?

 “I don’t know what the fuck we talk about!“

When I really have to poop but the RHONY are fighting and I can’t miss the drama face?

‘zactly. “Wait, you’re telling me Obama was for it? Then I’m against it”

THIS IS SHADE RIGHT?! JUDGE BROWN?! Can I get a ruling?

Well he was busy...

Remember when Donald was going to make us respected by the whole world? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

He would kill you, eat you, and wear your skin as a raincoat within a day, the dude is treacherous. Never turn your back on those cold, dead eyes!

I’d bake cookies for this man... naked.

I agree, this imbalance needs to stop. We need cars designed and built in America, like the Ford Focus, Buick Cascada or the Chevrolet SS.

What a fucking idiot.

That dude was out acted by the log he danced on.

Smooth move, Melania, pretending you were pushing your hair back. You don’t even pretend you don’t want this first lady gig. And he doesn’t even pretend to care about you. His reaching for your hand is a sign of either dominance or it’s a “we’re in public, we should hold hands” type thing.

Dear God,

Hmmm...that sinkhole is giving me a terrific idea!

God used to do the best plagues. Locusts, blood, slaying of the first born. Just a hole now? No stamina! SAD!

Do you hate her because she stole Angelina Jolie’s face?

Last time it’s on that cameras, and it’s a big sad, m’kay?

Hap. :(