I think you should stick to telling millennial girls what fall fashions to wear to school.

The offensive line statistically played worse than Peterman.

Well, given that their O-Line has the stopping power of a single uncooked rice noodle, and they decided that getting rid of the only safety net they had to let Allen sit this year in AJ McCarron for a half-eaten peanut butter and pickle sandwich, I’d say the chances of Peterman getting another shot are somewhere near…

I don’t have to imagine, I’ve had sex.

At least in this instance, Zion’s living hell didn’t include illegal settlements on the West Bank.

No no no, this is when Barkley doubles down. He always doubles down. They don’t call him the Round Mound of Rebound for nothing. He’s gonna be right back up. If you’re going to get into a spat with a man who literally threw a guy through a window, prepare to feel the pane.

His body looks like it was formed from used cigarette butts and cheeze whiz.

Pictured: Gar Foreman.

Funny. I actually imagine an opposite scenario, in which everything falls apart and the Celtics regret acquiring Boogie.

yes, because there have already been arrests made

Frank Mason III, Mitch Lightfoot, Lagerald Vick, Tucker Vang, Josh Jackson, Carlton Bragg

Back in my day we would walk uphill both ways for takes! Do you know how disappointing it is to climb a half-mile mountain of snow, seeing the corpses of your school mates littered as an almost nascent monument to mortality, while you achingly climb towards the top, the top where you believe your salvation awaits, and…

He’ll receive two paychecks because he also drives the team bus.

I guess the only question now is if this job at Texas will be the climax of his career.

The worst part happened when he discovered that Aaron Rodgers wasn’t actually inside the TV.

Good thing Evnika can box, as she just lost her job to Russia’s newest technological breakthrough, the ax.

As an added bonus, with the win UConn got to take home the Civil ConFLiCT trophy.

Well, with all the injuries he’s had, he’s certainly not running away from basketball.

Aaand now he’s a martyr for his heinous “cause”.