You think that was clean? I’d hate to see your kitchen.

*PENIS SOMEHOW ELECTED PRESIDENT

• HAD PENIS SURGERY LAST WEEK, SKIN GLUE STUCK TO DIAPER AND CAME OFF TODAY CAUSING UNCONTROLLABLE PENILE BLEEDING

This fight was barely even long enough to masturbate to. 4/10.

The nachos in my microwave took longer to finish than Rousey’s career tonight.

A dick falling out in public was the year’s most watched video? No wonder Trump thinks he won the popular vote.

Donald Trumps’ America: where the marquee East-West rivalry in the NBA is Milwaukee-Minnesota

Bra-fucking-vo! +1 and a free barrel ride!

This petty cattiness is more worthy of Carrie Bradshaw.

I’ll drop $100 on Gary from Gzanski’s - his Lube Job/Pork Italian with Capicola combo is the BEST....

Odds on the next Bills coach:

They seem about as Seeger as anyone can get.

Actually the Browns not even winning the title of the worst NFL team ever is the most Browns thing that could have happened.

They’ll remember that blocked field goal they had today for years to come. Probably just call it “The Block.”

Dan Orlovsky and Mad Dog 20/20

Paladino is also know for disseminating beastiality

Reggie Lewis is just evolutionary Len Bias.