yes yes but the silver lining is eventually we get to see him get wrecked

Getting LeBron to the Rockets seems like a real Challeng- *pulls plastic bag over own head*

Wait wait wait, I got it!

I usually have to go to White Castle for my horse beef.

“See ya later, instigator!”

He may be a mercurial wide receiver but this kind of stunt shows he’s more Uranus.

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

“Jesus, leave me out of it for chrissakes.”

Why do lawyers insist on using those black highlighters?

Hopefully Richie racked that dumbbell afterwards, I don’t want to think he’s an asshole or anything.

I don’t know about Mrs. Ed, but Mr. Ed knows all about furlongs.

Sounds like he’s asked for the game clock to be reset to who gives a fuck.

Godspeed, Ed. Here’s hoping you and Mrs. Ed are having a swell time.

As someone who was three blocks away from WTC at the time and has plenty of asbestos in his lungs, this has convinced me that I need more edgelord trutherism in my media diet.

The halftime song will never not make me happy every time I hear it. That, and make me feel 1,000 years old.

“Joke’s on them! Check out my awesome parking spot now”

Who among us hasn’t sipped on a paperbag tallboy in a park, turned to their buddy and put $10 on the tall kid to strike out the side, and then screamed “Get off the field number 8, you fucking piece of shit.” when he gets absolutely lit up?

Let’s Fail to Remember Some Guys

He’s just a big, blubbering ICE ICE baby.

What if she wasn’t really pregnant and the ball was full of cash and happiness?