He’s right though. Abstinence is the only totally effect form of birth control.

Reminds me of the last fight I got in. This guy at a bar was looking at me. So I said, “What the fuck you looking at asshole?” He looks at me and says, “Nothing.” I stood up. “Damn right, you better not be.” This guy had no business fucking with a guy like me, so I said, “ You have no business fucking with a guy like…

Mom: Okay Derrick, make sure you’re washed up before dinner.

“What’s attendance mean?”

I dunno, as someone trying to cope with life post-30, my hangovers have lasted 2 or 3 days after an all-day tailgate.

Can’t wait for the Sunday morning Glenn Greenwald-Tucker Carlson-Julian Assange three-way blowjob denying all this on FOX News.

Talk about Mixon it up.....

This is proof that even at 44 years old, Jamal can still pound the pigskin.

If the tackle didn’t get her, eventually the cologne would have.

“their three-year sentence feels light given the savagery of the act.”

This deserves a lot of stars. I come here for the dick jokes, but stay because someone throws out a great reference that parallels the discussion. Bravo.

Wow Billy! How’d you get all those presents this year?

Most people I know would be thrilled to get a letter from the President elect.

[shorts 50,000 shares of TomSpanks12 (TSPX)]

If he were a good Christian he would have been found alive inside a boulder.

Haven’t I suffered enough already?

I’ve always contended he looks like Krang’s robot body from the original Ninja Turtles cartoons.

“International Federation of Bodybuilding president Rafael Santonja”

(Radio guy hates John Wall because his father was absent.)

Actually, McCow was the one that chose Liberty. Their athletic program preferred to go with death.