It’s time like this when Donald Sterling misses being a minority owner.

My dog can come on command too!

“This” is a weird spelling of Ivanka.

I’m surprised DJ Gay had time for an interview with all the gigs this month.

These aren’t as good as the best laydown face since 2010 LeBron, but still fantastic.

Hank knew Six was going to win. He just expected Blossom to be her caddie.

If an 18-year-old says he scored nine times, it means he maaaybe got one handjob.

Jim never said Leyland was a Greek name.

You can’t reason with hooligans. Wayne Rooney is an absolute legend and does not deserve to be pushed into a fountain.

So how did Steve Demeter celebrate his dongs?

Let it go, Mt. Everest. Gacy reunions are awkward enough without this topic of conversation.

If you really want a tease, try supporting Tottenham.

I apologize. Honestly. Tried redirecting it to a joke about the ballpark’s stupid name, but I clearly missed the mark.

The Astros promotions team shoulders some blame, renaming the stadium Minute Made Park for this evening’s children’s night promotion.

That will be my official response whenever my wife complains about blowing up the bathroom.

It was bad enough having to wait 22 minutes for an elimination at a derby. Now this?

At least Oakland will always have Jose Canseco. HPV is for life.

Pelinka also recalled when Bill Walton dedicated the entire 1977-78 season to Steve Miller.

It’s too bad this happened in Seattle, where fans prefer smaller, handcrafted, artisanal dingers.

Rob Pelinka has opened contract negotiations with Delonte West so the Lakers can save the drama for a momma.