... a fourth-line pest is stuck inside the body of that 100-point man.

Way to invert the narrative, considering all the women who have left sportswriters and never regretted a second.

It’s fitting a seven-second offense beat a Spur for the record.

Ha I just saw a notice about the post, so it was read.

Great, now we’re going to spend the whole 2020 campaign with Republicans whining about these Telfair queens.

Wrong again, Shildt. The definition of insanity is a bagel sliced like a loaf of bread.

If you roast Raymond Felton, would he eat himself?

With that hairline, it’s obvious Michael’s no Mayday Malone.

I’m still blaming this on Brian Kelly.

After all these years, an annoying white guy who won’t go away finally gets me to root for Duke.

After all these years, an annoying white guy who won’t go away finally gets me to root for Duke.

They look like toast because they’re playing like they smell it.

Woe DeChambeau.

In McGregor’s defense, the Irish are taught from birth to keep the beef out of hand.

Silent--like the answer to the Zen koan: What is the sound of one hand fapping?

You’re right, coach. When I think “accountability,” I think Michigan State.

The NCAA has already sued both high schools for infringing on its March Madness trademark.

My Uncle Mitch was right when he said never trust Charlie.

In photos, great athletes often have calm expressions even when they’re exerting themselves. Their bodies are doing amazing things, but from the neck up they look like they’re deciding which tomato to buy. Whereas if I were running from an NFL linebacker or driving the lane in the NBA, I’d look like a goddamn maniac.…

Wrecked Carmen Electra too...