One thing’s for sure, Alphonse Areola will win Group C in the Name of the World Cup.

Just don’t mention “horizontal trajectory” around Melania. She isn’t ready to go under the knife again.

When Iran busts into the semis, this post is going be a great ayatollah-d ya so.

Trump should invite both teams, if only to figure out how they’ve lasted four years.

“Feet can’t fail me now!”

News of a man dying on a little league field was especially terrifying for Danny Almonte’s family.

Meanwhile, the USMNT is international dooty.

These squads are anything but feckless playing for not-quite-cuntries.

This’d never happen at Wimbledon, where it’s always the centre fielder’s ball.

Who didn’t shoot? J.R.

Green Bay’s owners are used to getting squeezed—but it’s usually when they wear a belt with fancy black jeans.

Jesus, he looks like shit.

My best Ed?

Serena was the greatest at last year’s Australian even without the period.

This time, Stephen A. might have a point when he blames someone for getting hit.

Just more shouting about the missing lynx.

Fear the... Dear God, It’s a Black Guy!

“Kris Bryant’s better.”

Rafael Nadal was thankful the cat got off the clay before he had to beat it.

Goddamn kids. Not that kind of rally!