I don’t know about this Tom Brady guy. Seems sketchy.

Wanting to have the shortest season possible, Rizzo then requested a trade to the Seattle Mariners.

Who knew a bunch of black people would have a hard time in Boston?!

Bears and cocks? For being so homophobic, Russia is really gay.

“I really, really deeply miss about five percent of the experience.”

“Show me a mark!”

“Listen, Nolan, I understand you’re aggravated. I get where you’re coming from. My best advice is to just put a needle pin in this for now.”

When did Kellyanne Conway grow a goatee?

You can take the boy out of Ireland but you can take Ireland out of the boy.

Looks like trouble’s Bruin.

“No, not at all. His hang time was never an issue.”

The Vezina in a Venza will be the best thing since Patrick Roy put the Conn Smythe in a conversion van.

The Phillies had a whole team that didn’t mind getting lit up in 1993—and I loved them.

Ernie Banks spent his whole career asking for this and he wasn’t around to enjoy it.

Now imagine the reaction if Derrius Guice went he.

It’s going to get real awkward when that bus gets back to N-wordsburg.

Dear Los Angeles,

Would’ve been great if Rob Kennedy were a little tougher 50 years ago.

I was initially skeptical of the move, but then I read Bruce Arena was too.

“I’ll just beat myself if I want to feel humiliated.”