It’s good to hear about Towns doing cool shit after hearing about the nonsense in Flint.

Shouldn’t he know the best way to stop a huge, slow-moving threat is to stand directly in front of it?

Jesus Christ, that poor kid. His favorite player was Bobby Murcer?

Chelsea? I would’ve expected Inter and Roberto Mancinito to get stuck with a big Pole.

Before Herschel Walker, there was a different Hersch... Oh wait, never mind, same one.

Jim Nantz, meanwhile, is still ecstatic he hasn’t sat next to a lost old man at the Final Four since 2008.

Man, on the heels of B.o.B.’s bullshit earlier this week, it’s like everybody has to disagree with Newton.

This is great news for everyone involved, except for his owner, who will never hear the end of it whenever someone commands Ludivine to speak.

Funny. “Beat Knick/sweater” is how everyone described Patrick Ewing in the playoffs.

So much for Scottie “No Tip In” Pippen!

The reasoning behind this rationale is that as Mancini is a heterosexual individual...

This just shows why Bill Parcells had to reverse Mrs. Doubtfire for his entire career.

The Worldwide Bleeder

Florian, meanwhile, doubled down...

Chris Carter just wants to make sure The Truth is Out There.

Dear Blair Walsh,

It’s a good thing Matt Leinart isn’t in the league anymore. He’d be checking down to a RB in the flat way before noticing something’s open.

Two cops walked in the gym during my JV basketball game. When the door banged shut behind them, the power forward on the other team turns around and books it out the other end of the gym. We got a few seconds of 4-on-5 play thanks to Johnny Misdemeanor, but still lost by fucking 20.

Impressive 24 hours for time. It also proved to more than change David Bowie.

DON’T overuse italics to indicate emphasis.