Jimmy G. Buckets. The G stands for Jesus Christ, About Time This Bulls Team Did Something Worth Watching.

“His body cries” also describes Rex Ryan with the meat sweats.

Hyperaware of legacies, Kobe was just trying to recreate Nankingsanity.

Not to pass up an opportunity to hype the Cardinal Way, one best fan in baseball weighed in on the MVP race with the tweet, “Carson Palmer > That Darky Pussy Panther Faggot!!!1!”

Those within the Pats’ inner circle are going to chuckle at this headline, since “backfire” is an old euphemism for Charlie Weis the morning after Taco Tuesday.

This made me imagine CTE as a physical object that can be wrapped like a Christmas present and given to someone.

Jaws really fucked up this time. He should've just left Richard Dreyfuss alone.

I don’t know anyone named Optimistic.

A neck tattoo is almost always a job stopper, but then there are the Cowboys.

It looks like he’s playing a game of “Hot Potato”... or what the kids back home in the Congo call “That Brown Thing That Can Feed My Village for a Month”

This is the most disgusting assault on Americans’ right to bare arms since the NBA introduced the T-shirt jerseys..

[Invents time travel.]

A real German knows you keep the gold ones and sweep away the rest.

This is how all 20-year-old references should be done.

Shouldn’t “9/11 play types” refer to charging over Tim Duncan and David Robinson?

Tampon and ice treatment? Sounds like the WNBA, if they could only afford the ice.

Cooperative under duress.

Apropos of nothing, a donation with “no strings attached” is also Pinocchio’s term for climaxing during unprotected sex.

Judge not, lest ye be judged, Marcus.

Coughlin: “I will not defend his actions yesterday because they were wrong ... but I will defend the person as long as I’m able.”