Everyone knows a Blackmon’s favorite bar is one full of drunk white girls.

From the looks of him, it’s obviously not easy having Pete Rose for a big brother.

Hate the Drake.

Who would've guessed a guy with that last name would blow his load early?

What if I ordered a pizza while having sex with my girlfriend? Would they object to us having sex out of wedlock?

Piggy Poopballs or Piggy Poop Balls?

I haven't seen a rehab project fall apart like this since Mark Prior.

First question: Why the hell was Loggains in the coach's booth and not out along the edge, always where he burns to be?

Jesus, I've stuck up for Bernstein in the past, but this is pretty tough—especially considering just a few days ago he went off on Dick Vitale for his (admittedly gross) interaction with Ashley Judd.

Jay taking Glamour shots? The chances of him dating a cover model are less than zero.

Unlike Robert Durst's experience with a hot mic, where someone else dies.

The NFL won't adopt shit... until people stop watching, ratings wane and they take legal guardianship over Cousin Oliver in a last ditch attempt to stay relevant.

Funny, considering my girlfriend always says she can't go down because of a neck injury.

The Walking Deadbeat

"Montenegro? Fine, just don't put it on Instagram."

Come on, everyone knows the Flashiest player is that golden-haired New York Jets' quarterback.

We can all agree that High Point isn't in Florida.

He actually had to think about wrapping after seeing that?

Pat Tomasulo is a genius.

The Chinese people are not prone to showboating, but, judging by this dude's jersey, he somehow manages to own two whole nickels!