[Hears Kane is headed to town]

He denied to the media late in the season that he had a weight issue.

Is it really a surprise Holder wants to avoid a matter so fast and furious?

When it comes to cryptic, nobody beats Pat Riley.

More like alley-oops, amirite?

[Cums]

Let's not overlook the biggest lie in this whole situation:

"Hey, if anybody's taking Kane out of the lineup, it's me!"

So who gets the trophy on weekends?

I never knew Sunkist was a vaccine.

"I don't get it, dude. Some dudes just sat around in a little tin can and then landed on a big rock that floats around the Earth. Am I missing something?"

Three Johnsons and one really big dick.

As expected, his antics stole the spotlight from other, less distasteful distractions.

His cousin can't be surprised a crazy Taylor led to stitches.

Unlike Greg Oden, who always looks like his old self.

Yeesh, that looks much more painful than the time Suh backed it up on Rodgers.

I don't know what they're going to do for art, but it's not the best time to get in the cartoon publishing business.

If we had digitally removed the redskins from the start, we could've saved ourselves some perfectly good blankets.

I haven't seen a dick get so much attention on a tennis court since the 1991 U.S. Open.

Ohhhh but it's the greatest thing ever when Jon Ryan's the punter doing the belting?!?!