SIBLING PUT FLEA POWDER IN DIAPER INSTEAD OF BABY POWDER. DEVELOPED A CHEMICAL BURN TO PENIS

He fixed games? So the anti-Ned Yost?

Just win, adult-sized baby!

"Academic Performance: Up to $150,000 per year"

One shot to his chest is impressive so two is remarkable, but that distance isn't as daunting for a jockey.

Fool me once, shame on you.

More like a high three-and-a-half, amirite?

If any organization should fear a disease spreading in the clubhouse...

Leave it to McAllister to go after a deuce.

When told that excuses are like assholes, Trent Baalke shrugged his shoulders and said his went to Michigan.

After sacking two guys at once, Ted Phillips received condolences from Lamarr Houston for tearing both ACLs.

In McCullough's defense, he's not the only one in Upstate New York to struggle with Colgate... and Crest, Mentadent, Aquafresh, etc.

You failed to mention the enclosed $49 million Target gift card.

[Redacted]

If anyone should be able to take shots, it's Cutler.

Hey, A.C. Green put himself in fucking prison and had still had a pretty decent career!

Detroit should have quit when it was ahead with "Cash for Clunkers."

Just wait until the players association hears Philadelphia is paying its players in $50 gift cards.

In Kobe's defense, that one time he took a seat in Colorado didn't work out to well.