i want to be corinne and i want to be as far away from vanessa as possible at all times.

she’s all i see when i close my eyes.

the only thing I like about it is that it puts the “give it up, do as I say” part from Madonna’s Erotica in my head and I love that song.

Seriously. Her schtick is fucking tired.

She needs to reinvent. If she dropped all the gimmicky sort visuals and leaned into her previous rock pop sound, she would be fine.  

Have you ever seen someone so turned on that they had literal fire in their eyes?

Is yr laughter circuit broken

But then it all goes “We can remember it for you wholesale” when they open it up and find the FSB have already inserted the circuitry!

Depending on the brand, no rewiring needed.

Russians probably did that yesterday.

What do you think the Russians were doing yesterday?

It’s unfortunate that he doesn’t have microwaves throughout the White House.

That would be nice, but the CW’s Roku app has a 24hr live puppy feed that I think would improve that room immensely.

“If you want a vision of the future, imagine a tiny hand fast-forwarding a TiVo - forever.” 

No, for real. 1. That swimsuit is NOT flattering. 2. It is not practical for fecking around on a boat. Sunbathing would be okay I guess, but it’s still fugly.

Could you be referring to the pudenda? ;)

How do you have so few stars for this comment?

That’s what’s up now but I don’t dare I know I’d slip a lip

Vagina, vulva, uterus, I think a shark bite could get all of it at once.

a liz lemon shark?