Somebody had to be the 1 in Glass Joe’s 1-99.

At Rod Salka FordLincolnMazda I guarantee you credit approval or I’ll eat my hat! Rod Salka FordLincolnMazda, you’re not a customer, you’re family!

Yep, it’s also the perfect name for a crappy Ford dealership with terrible local commercials.

Sadly, Nicki Minaj’s Chun-Li still can’t top Cardi B’s Ken –

It’s mainly a diss track about Cammy.

A few years later will come the follow up, written and directed by Ken Burns’ disembodied head: “Baby Boomers: You Thought We Would Eventually Die but We Cured that Shit, Bitches! We’ll Never Stop Running Things!”

Their fans blow the right way.

Meanwhile, I wore sandals for a whole summer and forgot how to tie my shoes

Greatlows4

Yeah it’s almost like this website’s take on gun violence is that guns are the biggest problem. But kudos for being inspired enough to write your first post. Good work, big boy.

your mom

That’s nice. Rocket League matches usually end in exchanges of Uppie Yoursies

In the catcher’s defense, that jerk had been throwing at him all game.

How long until service guarantees citizenship?

This is the hard hitting journalism Hold-My-Dirk expects when Hold-My-Dirk visits Deadspin.

Nothing like splitting hairs while you dance in blood!

Go die in a fire. Seriously.

Thanks for ruining the ending of the Bee Movie.

For shame. This is the kind of salacious trash I expect from Buzzfeed.