Heavily armed citizenry is the real mistake.

My god Disenchantment is not a good show. They had Matt Berry and even he couldn’t get a chuckle out of me in this dreck. How do you have such a great list of A-list comedic voice actors and none of them are funny? 

Of course she is. Who do you think Toro Landscaper stole her entire act from?

Of course she’s a thing. Did you mistake her for being human?

And what’s your talent?

[slaps the bong out of Albert and Patrick’s hands]

Trick question - the scariest thing is consciousness. Gulper McHellfish doesn’t give a shit about space or land or anything, it just eats and fucks and dies (possibly not in that exact order).

I have an important question that no one seems to be asking.

500 days of Papa John.

Me: [google’s murder/suicide how to]

It is almost like prioritizing greed and avarice for a few generations has had a negative effect on society.

A round of applause for capitalism, everybody! 

“I will not allow either my good name or the good name of the company I founded and love to be unfairly tainted.”

I think it’s great! I’m glad the refs didn’t take issue with a young All-Star getting his game on and get him fed to the rules when he hit the ground running. Yes, he’s looking kinda dumb with his finger and his thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead. But the years start coming and they don’t stop coming, so it…

Certainly not now at age 40. But not even at 25.

Carpenter: Hey! He’s reaching outside the regulation playing surface. That’s not the Cardinal Way!

With how easy life is when you’re wealthy, it’s incredible how spectacularly stupid people like this can be in still managing to fuck it up.