USADA is hardly an impartial organization. They went after Lance Armstrong harder than anyone ever because someone told them to. They backed off JJones for the same reason.

Instagram is Twitter for the illiterate

CL refs in the tank for Spanish teams? Nah, couldn’t be!

You mean, do I want to have one single adapter that’s likely to get lost, tangled or broken, or have something based on an open standard that will happily work with the numerous USB-to-wall plugs I already have, as well as being increasingly useable in airports and on trains and airplanes? Is this a trick question?

Fuck this. Copyright monopolies are bad and only get worse when they’re given state imprimatur, because they now have no competition and thus even less incentive to let money go to the artists, especially independent ones. The government’s job should be to break up the media cartels, not to strengthen them.

As a former head shaver and long time user of a double edge razor on my face, don’t do this. When doing the back of your head the natural motion is against the growing direction, which will leave your skin a bloody mess if you use a DE.

I was all ready to rant in defense of trick plays and against the NCAA, but you make a compelling point. If the ruse hadn’t worked we’d be having a very different conversation right now.

I like how you carry a car with you throughout the day.

Given the way he tries to minimize it rather than taking responsibility for it, what makes you think he’s reformed?

Nick Foles?

Extra adipose tissue can last a long time :(

I’ve always found it true that the sex you think you should be having is the biggest obstacle to actually having sex. 

If a tornado is about to destroy your house, what are you actually going to do? Move it out of the way?

I’ve been wanting someone to do this for years. If you have two dual-threat quarterbacks it makes sense - swap out a running back for the second quarterback, have them stand beside each other behind center, and have the center practice hiking the ball off to one side or the other. This gives you even more flexibility…

Insider trading affects rich white men, that’s why.

You don’t need to liquidate to donate, though. He can donate stock, and that’s usually what these types of magnates do. The stock can then be used as loan collateral, sold off piecemeal, or saved to collect dividends (although Amazon doesn’t pay now, it might later).

On the one hand, you’re right, these people are morons and should be able to detect a joke. On the other hand... it’s an unbelievably shitty joke. 

They’re so low-key they torment Thor.

Infinity War II, he’s the Watcher.

Norm Macdonald isn’t funny. Why is he being offered shows and appearances in the first place?