“If you eat fish. It’s good. If you eat a cow. It’s good.

My cat loved tennis balls. She’d bop it around the room, then pounce on it, put it in a death grip and rototill it with here back feet. The dog liked her soccer ball. Once had a German Shepherd that had a bowling ball for a toy. She would rear up and smash it with her front paws and send it rolling. You had to pay…

Has anyone checked with LeBron James to see what his thoughts are?

The butter technique works wonderfully. Somehow it keeps them from getting gluey. It’s simple and it works!

A good mouser is worth its weight in cat treats. The cat I had wouldn’t permit anything alive in the house. Mice, bugs or flies. He used to snatch flies right out of the air. Thank god the dog was sixty pounds or I would have feared for her life, too. Although the cat did eyeball her all the time.

Get a cat. Then, technically, you’re not killing them. You can blame Darwin.

Put the food in a cooler. Put the cooler in a unattached garage or shed. Keep it out of the sunlight. As long as the temperature stays cold. You’ll be fine.

The only time it’s appropriate is when you’re trying to get laid. 

Have a rabbit’s foot handy because luck definitely plays a big part in getting an appointment.

Any political post should be considered a shitpost. From Cruz to Cortez. 

Every morning.

You are correct. But nobody wants to freeze to death sober.

These “what if “ scenarios should, at least, be grounded in real world situations. It’s like saying you found yourself with more air than you can breath.

That’s a good idea.

Besides, for every Britney Spears there’s probably five or ten Gorilla Glue Girls.

Nobody is above ridicule. It’s an absurd world full of absurd people.

AOC has a serious case of Munchausen by Internet. 

We tend to assign western “woke” values to third world countries much the same ways that we condemn the morals of people that lived 300 years ago and erase them from history. 

Attention President Joe...

The best tasting chocolate is that which is picked by tiny hands. Working in the fields keeps them away from the sex tourists.