Offer them some ice cream.

She may have a case. I read the label and it does not specifically say, “Do Not Use On Assholes”.

What she really needs, is a caretaker. 

Butt stuff. 

Thank you.

I keep them in a three ring binder. Pretty random. I feel like if you over organize it, you’ll always find what you’re looking for. But I’m a big serendipity fan, so even though I might be looking for a beef recipe, while paging through looking for one, many times I find something totally different that I wasn’t even…

Noooooo, never trust her when a woman says not to get her something. It’s a test, you know. Fifteen years from now you’re going to hear, “yeah, remember Valentine’s Day in 2021 when you didn’t buy me anything, you cheap bastard.”

Does it have to be in the evening? I mean, we’ve been going to restaurants for the past year. We beat the crowds by going as soon as they open in the morning. Many open at 11:00am or 12:00pm. Honestly, with everyone so afraid, they’re not even busy and appreciate the customers. We quit going in the evenings to,…

You know your dog is smart when it looks at you, shakes it’s head and turns around and walks away.

Antiperspirants FTW. 

You mean the whole, troops on every street corner while a despotic leader rules the country through executive fiat thing?

I’m happy all right. Every God damned day.

Going on social media is like begging to be shit on. No matter how it’s done.

I hear them groundhogs is good eatin’

Use a comfortable back pack. Don’t assume that you’re going to be able to use your car. Don’t assume your cell phone is going to work, (but have a solar powered power bank for it). Even if you can’t phone someone, you may need the mapping portion (GPS). Make sure you have an up to date offline map loaded. I would say,…

Just as important to be a gracious winner. (maybe more important)

Don’t fall for the pedantry. By the same rights, what would you call a Dachshund dog? LOL

Take your damn star you crazy Dutchman!

“Thanks for the information”

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