why are you going around demanding people who are asking for justice somehow turn into members of Congress? I imagine it’s so when they don’t have a perfectly fleshed out answer for you, you can pounce on them as uninformed and reactionary. Just looking for that GOTCHA, instead of engaging in intelligent discourse.…

That’s not the point is it? The point is, it’s Disney’s park, they invite people from all walks of life into their parks, they are expected to show a reasonable amount of care and concern for the wellbeing of the guests in their park, and they did nothing to keep dangerous wild animals far away from the people in…

I’m definitely not arguing against signs, but there are alligators everywhere! I’ve seen them, admittedly smaller ones, in the water catchment ponds at the grocery store and the Home Depot in the middle of my city. Like black bears, which are also increasingly common in Florida and just as deadly, we now live and…

That doesn’t surprise me at all. If gators aren’t fed by humans, they will generally not go near humans. As soon as they start associating humans with food it’s game over.

Man, nuisance alligators at Disney are the worst. They’re always talking to you about their pins as if they earned them and didn’t just give a vendor money to wear them like anyone else who wants to fork over the change. Oh look at you! You have a limited edition Nightmare Before Christmas Haunted Mansion Halloween…

“Love the male gator, but his wife is such a bore when she drinks.”

Perhaps Gawker can start adding in to these articles that Disney recently built 2000/night bungalows over the water and guests in those bungalows have been feeding the gators there over the last 14 months. As a result, the gators started coming closer to shore, lost their fear of humans, and began to associate humans…

‘Nuisance’ alligator sounds so folksy, like the alligator borrowed your lawn mower and didn’t return it, not like the kind that would kill your two year old.

Thus, the more urgent my plan must be considered!

Damn you, callous and uncaring universe! Can’t you just take Kim-Jong Un or some other asshole we don’t want, and leave us just 1 cool dude!?

My husband does all of these things, too. He started worrying about the possibility of a theater shooting back when the first X-men movie came out. He’s also currently on hyper alert with all of the craziness in the world of late and was hesitant about me having dinner with my step-mother last night simply because it…

That is terrifying!

Co-signed!!! (I still blame The Villages).

If this guy gives a commencement speech anywhere in the state of Florida, the grads should all spend his entire speech shooting finger guns at him screaming “PEW! PEW! PEW!”

#notalllatinas think he’s a great monster! Some of us think he’s a flatulant small handed impotent monster who has to wear diapers at night and cries in the shower, who only messes up facts because he never learned to read and only hates brown people because he’s never properly figured out how to tan his skin enough,…

Fuck every single thing about these articles. It’s not funny, it’s not clever, it’s not insightful. Between this and your constant overbearing need to prove how much more whatever you are than Iggy Azalea, you repeatedly out yourself as an asshole.

It's been a rough few days.

God fucking damnit. I don’t know what to say or do to make any of this any better, so just, GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.

God won’t help anyone. The belief in God is what got these people killed.