Thanks for this.

Yeah, this one hurts.  I was really hoping he was going to be able to pull through.  Fuck this disease.

This is hardly the place to discuss this, but I would like to get the opinions of any medical professionals, epidemiologists, or members of the scientific community regarding this guy’s opinion piece on the nature of the COVID-19 disease.

I would rather take a five dollar bill out of my pocket once a month and throw it down a sewer drain. At least that five dollars might end up being of some use; a plague-ridden rat could use it for building its nest, for instance. That thought is exactly one thousand times more pleasant to me than the idea of…

I had never heard the term before either. I assumed it was a cruel practical joke where you leave some delicious Rold Gold pretzels out on the counter for some unsuspecting person, and you hide all the liquid refreshments and shut off the water to the house, and bolt the doors from the outside. Halfway through the…

I’m sorry to hear that.  Luckily, I don’t personally know anyone yet who has been affected by the virus, other than the inconvenience of quarantine and the uncertain financial future.

Instead we just get this guy:

Too bad she didn’t get a chance to slap Trump in the face.  “You knew! You knew! And you let people go out there anyway!”

Ibanez? Can’t Sandler afford a top quality guitar? A guitar store owner I knew always used to joke and call them “I-been-had”.

Oh, god, yes!

It’s especially difficult if nothing you’ve ever done is actually funny.

Isn’t that technically closer to a Batman grappling hook than a Spidey webshooter?  These guys really are the worst.

Damn. Hope he pulls through.

In that photo he strangely resembles Pete Buttigieg.

“Oh, song requests, ugh. ‘Rockin’ the Suburbs’, I guess.”

“And would it kill you to clean up in here once in a while? I’m a mess!”

“Hey, Ben, turn the heat up, it’s freezing in me.”

Is it any coincidence that Jonathan Banks was the bad guy’s henchman in Beverly Hills Cop, and that Mike uses the Axel Foley trick of walking into a place he has no business being and cowing people into believing he’s an authority figure?   I’ve got to think that every time he does it, it’s a little nod to BHC.

It was 1973 and you were a teenager, so you were probably so high you didn’t notice.

“Downhill Gleeson” sounds like a guest character on Gilligan’s Island.