Nowadays the kids all know that “Mary Jane” is a slang term for marijuana, so of course an acerbic, Daria-like teenage girl whose parents gave her the name “Mary Jane” would prefer to be known as “M.J.”

La la la-la la.  La la la-la la.

I like this movie, but my favorite ‘80s “getting shrunken down” movie is Innerspace.  It’s Joe Dante, it has a great cast, and the special effects really hold up, especially considering its age.

You suck, Internet!

Did anyone else think this was a Clickhole thing at first?  

When he shit his pants did Miss Patty Pancakes take credit for it?

Did he ever even actually apologize?

Even if a movie’s really a G they’ll usually slap a PG on it just to ease the stigma of being “wholesome family entertainment,” because nobody needs that shit.

Ooh, you’re right. It could just be Weinstein or some other high-powered lech blackballing her because she wouldn’t sleep with him, but on the other hand, there seems to be enough anecdotal evidence of her being “a nightmare to work with” to suggest that it could just be her personality that did her in. Or it could…

I can’t help thinking about Les Nessman pretending he’s in a helicopter while on air doing the WKRP traffic report. Then I thought about him doing the traffic report from an old biplane.

Well, that is certainly the most ineffective explanation I’ve ever read of someone being “not a pedophile.”

All this generation-bashing is distracting from the fact that Bruce Springsteen is now a cigar and a Hitler-mustache away from being J. Jonah Jameson.

Even from beyond the grave?

The shit that was popular when I was 17 sucked, but the shit I liked was awesome.

The first one ended with the implication that Linda Fiorentino was a full-fledged Man in Black, then the sequel came along and she was nowhere to be found. Whatever happened to her? I mean, other than the fact that she has a reputation for being an enormous pain in the ass, and most people don’t want to work with…

I don’t know who or what the fuck that is, but he feels like chicken tonight, chicken tonight, chicken tonight.

Your dad is Kris Kristofferson?

“Are you a pirate?”

It reminds me of that Fast Time at Ridgemont High scene at All-American Burger.

Well, it reminded me of one of those fake Clickhole quotes that just go on and on and get weirder and weirder, so I think it’s more effective to pull just about the whole paragraph.