Coulda been. The worst part is that it was impossible to tell.

The Mandarin twist was about the only thing saving this crapfest.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: The best Iron Man movie is The Avengers.

No, it was “peach cobbler.” I can still hear her gravelly, whiskey-soaked voice echoing in my ear, “C’mere, boy, get you a taste o’ mama’s peach cobbler.”

Terrible, it’s all in my mouth. Got it from your mom.

With an “L” embroidered on her sweater.  For “Liz”.

Actually, it was a Lionsgate bad decision.  Ba dum bum tssh.

Well, let’s see.  It’s got an “eight” in it, and then there’s a “teen.”  Yep, checks out.

I have some Lotrimin AF in the bathroom medicine cabinet, and every time I see it I want to call it “Lotrimin As Fuck.” How long before they use that as a slogan? “New, improved Lotrimin AF. It’s Lotrimin as f***.”

You really did.

When I was a kid growing up in the south, NWA wrestling was the king. It was bloody, with the wrestlers cutting their foreheads with hidden razor blades and all that, so it wasn’t uncommon to to see Dusty Rhodes or Chief Wahoo McDaniel get thrown out of the ring and come back with blood streaming all down them. Then…

Does he still carry around a tennis racket?

That’s just a nickname, his real name is Overtime Fagbenle.

I did not know that, as The 100 is about that many yards under my radar. How about Brooke Shields?  She no longer has The Middle to occasionally make a guest appearance on, and she has the right eyebrows.  Oh, right.  Hallmark.  Zero tolerance.

Instead of writing her character off the show, why don’t they just do a Darrin Stephens and replace her with a similar-looking actor? Paige Turco is available, isn’t she?

This just in: In order to avoid any negative associations with the college admissions scandal, Laughlin, Nevada has voted to change its name to City McCityface.

This is what you get for letting Yoda name your show.

The costume sucked.  And it especially sucked because they had already used a costume that looked great.  It stands out like a sore thumb because everyone else looks top-notch, but Cap’s costume doesn’t look much better than the cheapo ‘90s movie version, kinda rubbery.

Huh, I wonder if that’s where The Jesus Lizard got their name?

I love that when the battle is over and Cap says “We won,” he’s so beat he can barely get the words out.  It feels like a hard-won victory.