I can’t explain exactly why, but I feel like Thomas Pynchon is closer to the Little Rascals than the Little Rascals are to Thomas Pynchon.

Oh.  It’s about a horse.

Admit it, you just hate fat people.

“This is (Tedio)us”

I’m pretty sure “INNNNNH” is the Don Martin-style sound effect that appears over his head when he snorts a big line of Adderall.

Not violent enough.  How about shooting him out of a cannon into the mouth of an active volcano?

Even better if it’s a legitimate signature. “Oh, no, he signed it alright. It just ain’t worth shit anymore after he was impeached and committed suicide in prison after confessing all, and 40% of the country finally came back to their senses.”

Hitler getting machine-gunned until he literally fell into pieces would have been a fitting real-life ending.

Charlie says

Honey Hornée: “So, Garth, would you like to have dinner some night?”

God bless you, sir.

I saw your reply pop up in my feed without context, so at first I was like “They had to rewrite the script for World War 2? What?”

Superficially, and I had only seen the one photo. Looking at other photos, yeah, she has that plastic-y look, like she’s a larval stage Kardashian, and I don’t really go for that either.

You can shotgun Pringles?  I’ve been living life wrong.

Reason #9,438,324 Why I’m Not on Twitter

“Mitigating” would have been a more appropriate word. And again, it only goes so far when it’s apparent that the attractive person is also dumb, lazy, entitled, and spoiled.

I never heard that one from Colbert, this was something a commentor came up with that always stuck in my brain.

Yeah, I remember going to see Benji and Bambi and Herbie the Love Bug, and I remember them showing old Warner Brothers and Disney cartoons before, but definitely no Little Rascals. Little Rascals I grew up with on TV, though, it came on Sunday mornings. That was the ‘70s, so it’s certainly plausible that Little…

She has the redeeming characteristic of being really, really good-looking, but it isn’t enough.