Reminds me of that line from Johnny Cash’s version of “Rock Island Line”:

STILL looks better than his Flash costume.

I was gonna say he looked like Darth Vader fucked the Michelin tire man while giving a Dalek the reacharound, but okay.

I probably laughed at that, but I don’t remember laughing at much.  I’ve only seen it the one time when it was in the theater.

“It means he gets RESULTS, you stupid Guardian!”

The one thing I remember liking about Anchorman 2 was in the rumble scene, when the History Channel was represented by the ghost of Stonewall Jackson, who had the power to suck souls.

I’m thinking it’s probably going to be “Stranger Things...IN SPAAAAAAACE!”  And yes, I’m totally fine with that.

Ted Cruz has the same delusion as Michael Scott, he thinks he’s a comedian, and like the siren’s call, he CANNOT RESIST the opportunity to show off his comedic skills and deliver what he thinks is a deadly verbal riposte. Which Smigel, a true comedian, turns around on him with a perfectly timed zinger.

Smigel held his own against those ladies that work at The Wiener’s Circle, what the fuck chance does Ted Cruz have?

“Alex, you ignorant slut!”

She chews Big Red. Neil says close enough.

Go your own way, that’s Fleetwood Mac.

After they’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name.

Well, I guess he finally found a heart of gold.

The one right-wing conspiracy theory I give any credence to is that the Hollywood elite is crawling with a network of pedophiles and pederasts. It certainly helps explain how Bryan Singer keeps getting work.

Right, but they had an alien ship that crashed at Area 51 that had presumably been there since the Roswell incident in the late ‘40s, so what they do is scope us out in secret for a few decades before readying their forces and mounting an invasion.

I may like cold milk, but I hate sports, so I had no idea coolers were verboten.

It wouldn’t be my first choice, but if I had a cooler full of ice water to keep it ice cold, I’d totally sit there and swig on a half-gallon of milk. I like milk, particularly if it’s teeth-achingly cold.

You could always vote a straight Democratic ticket, straight down the line, but if you vote for ONE Republican for tax commissioner or some dumb crap just because he’s running unchallenged, you’ll somehow get on a Republican mailing list; emails, phone calls, flyers in your mailbox. And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is…

“Wider...wider...whoa, not THAT wide!”