However much they’re getting paid, it’s too much.

He’s not in the movie, he just raided the craft services table.

I cry at The Mask of Zorro. Not at any sad part or anything, but at the scenes of swashbuckling and derring-do. They’re just so damn heroic and beautiful. The Adventures of Robin Hood with Errol Flynn affects me in the same way.

Yup, me too. Two parts, the part where Lovell’s mom tells her visibly upset granddaughter, “Well, don’t you worry, honey. If they could get a washing machine to fly, my Jimmy could land it.” Her complete faith just gets me every time. And of course the nail-biting blackout period culminating in that shot of the…

John Cusack = The Anti-Sisqo

I really don’t think that’s the refutation you think it is.

My mom agrees.

I’ll probably just head to Steak & Shake this weekend to sate my craving. They have great milkshakes and I bet they have peach. Honestly, I didn’t even know Chick-fil-A HAD milkshakes. They only have four goddamn things on the menu anyway, and whenever I go there it’s to get a chicken sandwich, and it never even…

Chick-fil-A has a peach milkshake? Well, I know where I’m going after work.

#onionrights #freetheonions

I had almost totally forgotten about that whole Charlyne Yi kerfuffle. The major point of that whole thing that I hope people never forget is that Charlyne Yi isn’t funny at all.

Great, now I’ve got “Rapists gonna rape rape rape rape rape, I’m just gonna shake shake shake shake shake, shake it off, shake it off” playing in my head.

Yes, you are.

I saw that Halle Berry movie Rich Man’s Wife in the fucking THEATER. I still can’t believe it. In my defense, I was dragged to it by my sister, who was going through a bad breakup with her boyfriend, and was leaning on me to “hang out and do stuff” to help her keep her mind off it.

You were on a boar? Haha, hey everybody, this guy says he was on a boar!

I liked the IFC shorts and interstitials than the actual sitcom, but yes, it was good.

That’s how Tommy Wiseau Batman says it.

I am the Bat Man.

“I’m Bat Man.” That’s three words.

Oh god, PJ Masks is just the worst. Nothing about it holds up beyond a four-year-old’s level of critical thinking. How did the kids become superheroes? Who pays for their equipment and elaborate hideout? How did they learn to drive cars and fly planes? Why is there never anyone else around town other than the…